I've noticed that since you've become mobile, you don't cuddle nearly as much as you used to. So I'm taking this chance to snuggle while you sleep on my chest like you used to. I couldn't tell you the last time I got to hold you like this. You used to sleep on my chest every day. My baby is growing up. You're 10 months old now and we're starting to plan your first birthday party. I just can't believe how fast this year has gone. Everyone told me it would, but you don't realize how fast until you're experiencing parenthood for yourself.

My very first Mother's Day was this weekend, and it felt even better than I thought it would. It made me think about everything we've been through so far and made me so proud of us. You taught me how to be a mother these last ten months and I like to believe that I'm doing a pretty good job at it. I hope you agree. I just want you to know that I'm trying my absolute best. Some things may not be going as planned, but I'm going to work it out and make it better for you.

Lately I keep thinking back to the day after I found out I was having a little girl. I'll never forget that feeling. Something in me changed that day. I wasn't just going to be a mom, but I was going to be a mom of a sweet little girl. I just remember sitting in bed all morning, crying because I was so happy. It was amazing to feel you kick and think to myself "My little GIRL is kicking" and not just "the baby" or "he or she". You had a bit of a personality from that point on. I made a CD of songs about motherhood/parenthood/having a baby girl and I listened and cried to them up until the day you were born, haha. I still do sometimes... it's a great reminder of what I used to feel and how much my life has changed since you were born.

I just want you to know that I wouldn't trade you for the world. You are the reason I wake up every day and the reason I go to bed happy every night and I pray that I can give you everything you deserve. I love you so much.

Wow, where have the last two months gone? It was my goal to write at least once a week, and as you can see, that did not happen. After my last post on February 21st, life just kind of got away from us all. I'll tell you why.

The day you hurt your hand, your Grandpa Richard went into the hospital. He thought he had a stroke because he could hardly make sentences and couldn't use his right hand. Turns out though that he had stage 4 lung cancer that had spread to his brain. Your Papa Phil and Nana Val came to town to be with the family then, so everything was kind of hectic. We were either visiting Grandpa Richard at the hospital or nursing home or visiting with Grandma Eva and Papa and Nana at Eva's house. Three weeks to the day that he was diagnosed was when he passed away. It breaks my heart thinking about it because he always said he just wanted to live long enough to see you walk. He almost made it though... he loved you so much, I know that much. Everywhere he went he'd take your pictures and show people. He was a funny guy... I wish you'd gotten to see him a little more.

Shortly after, Eva had to be put into a nursing home because she couldn't take care of herself. She's 96 I believe? I could be wrong... I'll have to ask your dad, but she's somewhere around there. So we try to go visit her at least once a week. She loves seeing you so much and you love her too. Every time you see her you wave like crazy. I know it makes her day.

I also started college in March, so that added to the craziness. I'm taking English, Math and Geography. I've always HATED math, but I'm not doing too bad! I have a high B in the class right now, which I'm very happy with. English is alright, lots of writing papers, and Geography is terrible. I've got a C, OOPS! I really need to step it up. It's just hard to manage my time between the classes and homework and my baby who needs lots of attention! :) I've been staying up until 2am most nights just to finish my homework. My first semester is almost done though, so I'm pretty excited about that.

Now about you! First off, you learned to crawl around the beginning of March. You used to crawl backwards, but for a few months now it's been forwards and you're into everything! You pull up on things, too. And now you're starting to stand by yourself in the middle of the room. This last weekend we went to Nebraska and you took FIVE steps all by yourself. You won't do it now though, so everyone thinks I'm making it up, haha. You've also started throwing tantrums. I really didn't know it started this early... the Parents as Teachers lady says it's because of your personality. I think you're going to be the independent type and not want help from anyone... that's what I'm seeing at least.

This last month you've started copying. You playing peek a boo with a blanket, make funny faces with your lips and try to make noises with your tongue if we do it to you. Yesterday I was vacuuming and you put your hands over your ears... I don't know if it was on purpose or not, but it was pretty cute. Your hair is really growing in, too. Not quite enough for a clip, but it's getting there! You started teething again this last week, you already have two bottom teeth, and now I think you're working on the top. Your fever was almost 102 degrees, which kind of freaked me out. And yesterday you just kept chewing on everything and yelling. It broke my heart, I hate to think of you in pain... so hopefully they come through pretty soon! I'll let you know when :)

You just woke up from your nap, so I better run... I'll update more soon! Love you so much!

Mama